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Of Awesome Flying Saucers and Bossy Lying Sauce-Eaters
Of Awesome Flying Saucers and Bossy Lying Sauce-Eaters is the twenty-second episode of the second season of Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures!, though it was the twenty-first episode produced. This episode features Crash and Cortex competing to collect the reward for capturing a mysterious shape-shifting extraterrestrial in ancient 1964. During production, it was known as It'll Cure What's Alien Ya!. Plot Summary One fine day, Dr. Neo Cortex is enjoying being the rich and wealthy owner of Cortex Power. This entitles him to a variety of special perks. Today, that perk is breakfast in bed, served by Dr. N. Gin. Ginsters introduces Cortex to his latest invention: the Beautiful Mesmerising Golden Yellow, Delicious for Every Lady and Fellow, Bestest Way to Wake Up and Say Hello, Explosively Tasty Yet Mild and Mellow, a Flavour Rain For Which You Don't Need an Umbrellow, So Perfect You Can't Help But Bellow, "Thanks, N. Gin, You Sure Are Swell-oh!" Not Breaklast and Certainly Not Breakleast Breakfast Breakfeast! It's scrambled eggs. Cortex takes a bite. He says he's good, but then he smothers the rest of it with ketchup. This hurts Gin's feelings, though he tries not to make it obvious. Suddenly, Pinstripe Potoroo bursts in! He says that Cortex Power is losing money at an alarming rate! Apparently, the nuclear power fad is on its way out. Cortex sighs. He'll have to find another temporary source of income. But where, where, can he find enough money to save his precious company? Suddenly, Dr. Nefarious Tropy steps out of the shadows. He has yet another nefarious time scheme! Cortex asks what it is. Tropy says it's a surprise! Tropy then uses his crystal tuning fork to summon a Time Saucer. It flies up into the sky and abducts Cortex, and presumably some of his minions, sending them into a time chasm to the past. Meanwhile, Crashie is watching My Favourite Marshmallow on Wumpavision. (In a cutaway, we see Marshmallow, voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson, pretending to be a human, to stupid results.) Suddenly, this interrupted by a Special Wumport! Crash tries to change the channel, but Coco smacks his hand. A generic news anchor (Tara Charendoff) says that it's a very special day, for it is the 35th anniversary of the mysterious UFO landing on Wumpazona's famous Area 51? Island. She adds that even though the FBI offered a million dollar reward for capture of the alien inside, no one successfully claimed the reward. Crash thinks for a second. Surely a million dollars would be enough to afford that big-screen Wumpavision he's always longed for! He decides to go back in time and have the FBI reopen the case - only this time, it's Furry Bandicoot Incorporated! Crash is excited, but Coco refuses to participate in this hijinx, because aliens are just make-believe. We cut to 1964, where we see what the producers intended to be a dramatic and mysterious scene, in which a big, flashy alien spaceship comes crashing down in the deserts of Wumpazona. FBI agents are on the scene immediately, somehow. Suddenly, an alien emerges from the wreckage! The FBI agents pull out their Wumpazookas and open fire, but the alien just tilts its head, and uses his alien kinesis to liquefy the Wumpa Fruit bullets in midair, causing a tidal wave of Wumpa Juice that sweeps the agents away, buying the alien enough time to escape. The next day, Crash and Cortex both arrive on the scene. They are predictably annoyed to see each other. Suddenly, they are approached by the FBI Director, J. Frenchiewaitgar Hoover. He demands to know what they're doing trespassing on FBI property. Cortex introduces himself as Dr. Neo Jupitex, head of Alien Science Study Class at Corvard University. Crash thinks for a second, before deciding that he's Flash Bountyhuntercoot. J. Frenchiewaitgar Hoover supposes that they'd both be useful in tracking down the alien, and reminds them of the million dollar reward for its capture. He adds that they both will receive a complimentary Snail Frogleggity Pie just for participating! And the race is on. Flash calls Coco on his yellowular bananaphone and asks if she knows where aliens like to hide. Coco is astonished that he's already cheating by asking for her help, but nonetheless, she starts a new game of SimAlien on her laptop. The game tells her that they like mountain caves. In that case, Flash asks if she can send Pura. Coco says she can do one better, and shoves a Wumpacycle through Aku Aku's Time Portal. He was not expecting this, so Aku Aku was displeased. Flash thanks Coco, and orders her to vacuum the house while he's gone. Coco just sighs. Flash hops on the Wumpacycle, and rides off toward the famous Sierra Wumpazona Mountains, to the accompaniment of this week's original song, "Genetically Engineered to be Wild". He finally arrives at a cave, which he enters, cornering the alien (Special Guest Star Demond Wilson), who meekly introduces himself as Oogtron, Intergalactic Destroyer of All. Flash pulls out his bug-catching net, and prepares to capture the helpless alien. Suddenly, Jupitex leaps in, tackling Flashie to the ground. He overheard Flash's bananaphone fruitversation with Coco, and if anyone's catching that alien, he bellows, it'll be him! Oogtron is shocked to discover that Flash and Jupitex intend to catch him, and so he escapes by melting into water, which evaporates into a cloud, which flies away. Flash supposes he should be quieter about planning his next plan. Jupitex wisely states that, from now on, he shouldn't bellow his plans in the presence of aliens. This will be added to next semester's Alien Science Study Class course over at Corvard. Meanwhile, in Cortex Castle, Uka Uka can't find Cortex anywhere. Finally, he decides to ask N. Gin, who just passive aggressively tells Uka to ask the bottle of ketchup, because "apparently it's his new best friend". Then, Ginsters breaks down crying, but Uka Uka just shrugs. This looks as awkward as you'd expect. Uka decides to enjoy the Cortie-free peace and quiet, and settles down to watch the My Favourite Marshmallow Wumpathon on the WV Land Netwump. But the Wumpavision's volume is too low. Uka asks Ginsters where the remote is. Ginny whines that he wants to know where his cherished friendship with Cortex has gone! Uka finally snaps, and starts yelling at N. Gin for failing even the "finding the Wumpavision remote" scheme. Meanwhile, Flashie is still riding the Wumpacycle across the desert. He'll find a way to catch that cloudy alien yet! He tries to shift his Wumpacycle into flying gear, but as it turns out, it doesn't have one. This will be harder than he thought! He is suddenly passed by a flying saucer. It's the flying saucer from earlier! Dingodile pokes his head out to introduce himself as Unidingofied Flying Objectodile. He also introduces his colleagaue, Tiny Transistor. Tiny asks Objectodile what a "Trainsitter" is, but the Unidingofied one whines that this is neither the time or the place. He turns back to Flash, and explains that with his fire breath for welding, plus Tiny for heavy lifting, repairing the crashed spaceship was no problem. Tiny proudly shouts that he's very very good at heavy lifting! Objectodile agrees, and pets Tiny, to the latter's tail-wagging joy. Then, Objectodile flies off into the sky! Flash complains that it wasn't fair of Jupitex to get outside help. The flying saucer approaches cloud-form Oogtron. Tiny braces himself. This is his moment of truth. He reaches out the window, and grabs Oogtron, to the latter's obvious annoyance! But then Tiny Transistor feels his grip slipping. He struggles to hold on, but nope, he can't do it. Cloudy Oogtron slips out of his grip, and falls to Earth. Somehow, this also causes the flying saucer to crash into some random desert cliffside. Objectodile and Tiny Transistor fall, landing in front of Jupitex, who obviously wants to know what went wrong. Tiny protests that he's good at heavy lifting, but terrible at light lifting. Jupitex doesn't even understand how that makes any sense, and shouts that Tiny is expelled from Corvard University, for life! Just then, Oogtron lands nearby. He says he's still got one trick up his intergalactic sleeve. He chants an alien spell and transforms into a turbo tank! Jupitex and Flash brace themselves. It's time for intense, exciting action. Meanwhile, N. Gin is attending a group therapy session with famed psychiatrist Dr. Nitrus Brio. Also in the group are Coco, Pura, and Rilla Roo. Brio starts out by asking Pura what's bothering him. He says he's just bored and thought group therapy sounded like fun. Brio concurs that it is. Next, he asks Coco what's bothering her. She says she's sick of being bossed around by her older brother. Brio comforts her by saying that she'll have someone of her own to boss around if Mama Bandicoot ever has another kid. Coco smiles, knowing the future is bright. Next, Brio asks N. Gin what's troubling him. Ginny protests that Cortex is having a love affair with ketchup! Dr. Brio understands his plight, but wonders what Gin hopes to accomplish by whining to a doctor about it. Confrontation is key! N. Gin feels empowered, knowing that he can now stop being passive-aggressive and straightforwardly discuss his problem with Cortex. Brio then asks Rilla Roo what's troubling him. Rilla Roo says he lost his pacifier. Brio knows exactly how to help. He drinks a potion. This one turns him into a pacifier. Rilla Roo sticks it in his mouth, and breathes a sigh of relief. Meanwhile, Flash is on his Wumpacycle, gaining ground on turbo-tank Oogtron. Just then, Oogtron makes a sharp right turn when he sees a pair of detour signs. But Flash knows those are no ordinary detour signs. They tell Flashie he's right - they're Alternate Route Larry and Go The Way This Arrow Is Pointing Bill. Flash has a bad feeling about this. Some distance away, Jupitex monologues that the detour is going exactly as planned, leading Oogtron into his trap in the clever and diabolical way that only a Corvard professor can. His other present minion, Ripper RooFO, asks why he went through the trouble of creating an entire fake university for this persona. Jupitex just tells RooFO that he has so much to learn. Jupitex then sees that turbo-tank Oogtron is heading this way, so he orders Ripper RooFO into action! RooFO chants a spell and creates a giant wall of Big TNT Crates. Oogtron doesn't have enough time to avoid them. He crashes right into the wall, and the explosion reverts him to alien form. Excellent! Jupitex has caught him, fair and square. The next day, J. Frenchiewaitgar Hoover presents Jupitex with the million dollar check at an elaborate FBI ceremony. Jupitex is pleased that he'll have enough money to save Cortex Power - and even enough left over to fund an evil scheme yet to be determined. Plus, he'll finally be famous, mentioned in history textbooks everywhere! Frenchiewaitgar corrects him, saying that the FBI will sweep this under the rug, and no one will know about it. Jupitex, however, knows he'll always be famous, at least in the tiny Corvard University history textbook in his heart. Flash loudly protests that he'll never be able to afford a big-screen Wumpavision now. For once in his life, Jupitex takes pity on someone else. He hands Flash a hundred bucks and tells him to buy himself something nice. "It's more than enough," announces Flashie, gleefully. He's also relieved that, for once, everybody wins. Oogtron, Intergalactic Destroyer of all chimes up, saying that his sole mission in venturing to Earth was to bring peace to humanity - and if getting captured is what it took to achieve that, then so be it. Suddenly, N. Gin warps in, and starts yelling at Jupitex for smothering his tasty breakfast in ketchup. But when J. Frenchiewaitgar Hoover hands Jupitex and Flash their consolation Snail Frogleggity Pies and Jupitex smothers his in ketchup, too, he realises that it was never meant to be a personal slight after all. He just likes ketchup. N. Gin finally realises that there's no helping human nature, and he tells the children at home, please, don't interfere with your parents' personal lives!